What have I learned from watching too much reality TV this summer? What haven't I learned! Time to settle in with some munchies . . . .
1. Family life can be exploited as a for-profit commodity but only at a price. (J&K+8) Okay, I never actually watched this show because there was never anything going on.
2. Teresa of NJ Housewives would be totally skeeved by my house because we just don't keep up with the "cleansy." (Real Housewives of New Jersey)
3. New York City prep school kids lead lives that have no resemblance whatsoever to my life at 16. Are they really real? F'real? F'real real? (NYC Prep)
4. It's okay to be gay if you DANCE but not so much if you SING. (So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol). Well, we don't know who's going to win the dance thing yet . . . and nobody's out (including that one dude on NYC Prep), so I guess it's basically the same.
5. Parenting can entail pimping kids out as models and actresses, living in the Hamptons while your teenagers live in NYC alone, resisting giving the kid her brand new car until she gets her grades up in summer school (hey, where's my car - Dad? Dad?), dragging many many kids to your press events with nothing to drink, letting your daughter live with Hugh Hefner and his harem, ew, and then discouraging her from moving out because it is such a great gig and how will she ever take care of herself, etc. etc. . . and a heaping helping of superiority. (Real Housewives, NYC Prep, JK8, Girls Next Door/Kendra etc. etc. etc.)
6. Epidurals are the bomb. Like, you can totally talk when you're OMG having a baby. Who knew?!! (16 and Pregnant)
7. I do not, in fact, have the Messiest Home in America. (Clean House)
8. I too could make a gourmet meal with just a microwave and hotplate. I do it practically every night. Here, try this salmon on angel hair. Or this Boca on a bun. Or this . . . . (Top Chef)
9. Eating Costco chocolate covered raisins every day will not help you lose weight, despite the healthy fibery raisin inside the delicious chocolate coating. Oh, wait, that wasn't on TV. That was on the couch in front of the TV.
9.5. If you are thinking about having a baby, try moving a chimp in first. (Keeping up with the Kardashians) This will make you reconsider.
10. If all else fails, Dance Your Ass Off. And pass the chocolate.
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2 comments:
OMG! I watched "16 and Pregnant" for the first time yesterday. I, like, am so totally having a baby now, ya know. Because even though the entire cheer squad was like talkin' about me behind my back, I think babies are like, cute. Ya know?
I know, everyone at the museum is like, "pssst - I think Bethany's pregnant - like, do you think she is? I think she is, totally."
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